When Friends Go To Different Places--Part 2--My Friend Joby

In Part 1 I mentioned that in a very real sense, life can be compared to the chapters in a gripping book. In my “book” there are two chapters, already written with the final edits in, about two friends of mine—Louise and Joby. Part 1 was about my friend Louise. Now, in Part 2 of When Friends Go To Different Places, I am privileged and honored to talk to you about my friend Joby.

Way back in time, back in the early 1970’s; the Lord sent a mighty revival to our part of the world in sleepy South Carolina, known by many as the “buckle of the Bible belt.” Many people who were religious, but spiritually dead, came alive and began the greatest journey ever with the Lord. These new disciples of Jesus willingly shared the greatest story ever told—by what they said, and just as powerfully, by what they did. Joby was among that number.

Joby loved the Lord Jesus and she loved the people He put before her. Whenever she touched a life, something wonderful happened to her community. With the precision of a master artist, her love painted a mosaic mural of members who were added to an extraordinary alumni group—(TWWLBJ) those who were loved by Joby. I was among that number.

I had the joy of first meeting Joby and Bob over 30 years ago. I cannot recall the first time we met, but I am sure that the focus of our meeting was the love we had for the Lord. As our relationship and friendship grew, I was invited to teach in their home where many young people came to learn more about Jesus. As a result, the Bristow home became a beacon of light for the Gospel as many were saved, were filled with God’s Spirit, delivered from addictions, and found a place of refuge and safety. Joby and Bob had the gift of hospitality and everyone felt right at home. I was among that number.

In 1979 my father told my mother he no longer loved her and left. At age 21, during my final semester of college, my “perfect” family fell apart and I was crushed, hurt, and emotionally reeling. The Bristow’s offered me their home, their family of Margaret and Bobby, their circle of friends, and their love, as a place to sort out my feelings. I became a Bristow. I became another person, among many others, who needed a lot of love and affirmation and got it from Joby and Bob and Margaret and Bobby. Joby and Bob prayed for me, listened to me, counseled me, adopted me, and loved me in a way that forever changed my life. As the years went by, I discovered that I was not the only recipient of their love. There were many more. I am grateful to say that I was among that number.

It has been said that the true measure of a life is best measured in not what we believe, not in what we say, but in what we do. Joby knew what she believed and she said many wonderful truths, but beyond all of that, Joby’s life was measured by her loving service. As I read through her published obituary, it underscores my own belief of her:

Quotes from her obituary:

"Margaret Jo Marsella Bristow (Joby), wife of Robert Blakely Durham Bristow of Darlington, South Carolina went to be with her Lord on Saturday, October 17, 2009.

Having a servant's heart, she devoted her life to her family, her church and her community as evidenced by her receiving The Order of the Silver Crescent, the highest honor that can be awarded for community service by the State of South Carolina."

On Saturday, October 17, 2009 Joby received a much higher honor, an honor I and any other believer desires above all else; to finish well and to be honored by our Heavenly Father forever.

John 12:26 (MSG)
"If any of you wants to serve me, then follow me. Then you'll be where I am, ready to serve at a moment's notice. The Father will honor and reward anyone who serves me.

Matthew 25:23 (NLT)
“The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’

My heart is heavy—I miss my friend.

My faith is sure—I know where my friend is and what she is doing, celebrating and worshiping Jesus at His feet.

My life will always be marked by Joby’s love for me.

My hope is that all who love Jesus will one day join Joby in a place where cancer and other human heartaches exist no longer:

Revelation 21:3-7 (NASB95)
3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them,
4 and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."
5 And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He said*, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."
6 Then He said to me, "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.
7 "He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.

My name will always be Denny Bristow Bates.

When Friends Go To Different Places--Part 1--My Friend Louise

In a very real sense, life can be compared to the chapters in a gripping book. In my “book” there are two chapters, already written with the final edits in, about two friends of mine—Louise and Joby. Ten years ago I met Louise at cardiac rehab. She was not your typical southern belle. In fact, she hailed from New Jersey, the typical “Yankee” whose creative use of the English language would peel paint off of the wall and would cause the faint of heart to wilt. But Louise and I were friends. Early on in our relationship, she and her husband invited Trish (my wife) and I, another cardiac rehab couple and several cardiac rehab staff members to Sunday lunch in their home. We all were honored guests. Louise and I were friends.

I’ll never forget the time before we really knew each other. As I was walking on the treadmill next to Louise; her creative language was flowing; using adjectives that colored the conversation. After my time on the machine of torture (the treadmill) was over and I moved on to another piece of equipment, Louise somehow found out via a conversation with Trish that I was a pastor. “Blankety, Blank, Blank….Why didn’t you tell me Denny was a Blankety Blank minister?!!!!!!” Once my young daughter was with us at rehab and Louise was on her best behavior until she used the word, “diarrhea.” Embarrassed that she evoked that kind of language around my daughter, she quickly said with her distinct Jersey accent, “Excuuuuuse me,” and without missing a beat she kept right on talking. But Louise and I were friends.

For some time now Louise has been in the fight of her life with Leukemia; a fight she finally succumbed to early this week. Many of those who are a part of the cardiac rehab family are believers and many of them shared their faith with Louise. Her “offensive” language did not keep us from embracing her, loving her, and showing her the love of Jesus. One never knows the eternal outcome of a person’s life and response to Jesus. Did she finally bend her knee to the Savior at the end, or did she, as I fear, reject His saving grace? Louise knew I loved her. I told her often. Louise and I were friends. But I wonder if she really believed that Jesus loved her, and did she love Him? I hope Louise and Jesus were friends. I hope He is your friend too.

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.

What A Friend We Have In Jesus: Words by Joseph M. Scriven

12 "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.
13 "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
14 "You are My friends if you do what I command you. John 15:12-14 (NASB95)