When you’re down and troubled And you need a helping hand And nothing, whoa nothing is going right. Close your eyes and think of me And soon I will be there To brighten up even your darkest nights. You just call out my name, And you know wherever I am I’ll come running, oh yeah baby To see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, All you have to do is call And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah. You’ve got a friend.
—Carol King
9Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 11Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Eccles. 4:9-12
Introduction:
Have you ever had a friend who broke your heart? Someone who really disappointed you? This is what happened between God and David. You remember it was David who was a “man after God’s own heart.” And yet, David—King of Israel, a friend of God—broke his communion with God with his premeditated sin with Bathsheba and Uriah. There are many relationships that are so fractured by moral failure, that they can never be repaired. Most stories, like David’s, conclude in the destruction of a friendship. As we will see from the record of the Scriptures, the friendship between David and God endured heartbreak and moral failure. It is a story that should give every believer who has messed up great hope in the redemption that comes from God. God offers us a friendship founded upon His grace, mercy and forgiveness. Let’s ask the Lord to grant us special insight as we study about the friendship between David and God. “Lord, You know our frame, of how fragile we are, how prone we are to break fellowship with you. But it is our heart to cultivate the kind of friendship with You that when we do fall short of what You expect, we will grow even deeper in our love for You. Amen.
Outline:
A. The Bible Record
B. Qualities That Made This Friendship Special
C. Unique Challenges This Friendship Faced
D. Practical Lessons From This Friendship That I Can Apply To My Life
E. Exercise In Friendship
F. Final Questions To Ponder
G. Conclusion
A. The Bible Record:
1. The Chain Of Eight Events That Broke God’s Heart: How David Displeased The Lord And Harmed The Friendship
1) David Remained in Jerusalem when kings go off to war (2 Sam. 11:1)
2) David Saw a woman bathing (2 Sam. 11:2)
3) David Sent someone to find out about her (2 Sam. 11:3)
4) David Knew Bathsheba was a married woman (2 Sam. 11:3)
5) David Sinned when he slept with her (2 Sam. 11:4)
6) David Deceived her husband, Uriah (2 Sam. 11:6-14)
7) David Murdered Uriah (2 Sam. 11:15-17)
8) David Married Uriah’s widow, Bathsheba (2 Sam. 11:27)
11:1In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem. 2One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, "Isn't this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?" 4Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (She had purified herself from her uncleanness.) Then she went back home. 5The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, "I am pregnant." 6So David sent this word to Joab: "Send me Uriah the Hittite." And Joab sent him to David. 7When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were and how the war was going. 8Then David said to Uriah, "Go down to your house and wash your feet." So Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king was sent after him. 9But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all his master's servants and did not go down to his house. 10When David was told, "Uriah did not go home," he asked him, "Haven't you just come from a distance? Why didn't you go home?" 11Uriah said to David, "The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my master Joab and my lord's men are camped in the open fields. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and lie with my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!" 12Then David said to him, "Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back." So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. 13At David's invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master's servants; he did not go home. 14In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. 15In it he wrote, "Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die." 16So while Joab had the city under siege, he put Uriah at a place where he knew the strongest defenders were. 17When the men of the city came out and fought against Joab, some of the men in David's army fell; moreover, Uriah the Hittite died. 18Joab sent David a full account of the battle. 19He instructed the messenger: "When you have finished giving the king this account of the battle, 20the king's anger may flare up, and he may ask you, 'Why did you get so close to the city to fight? Didn't you know they would shoot arrows from the wall? 21Who killed Abimelech son of Jerub-Besheth? Didn't a woman throw an upper millstone on him from the wall, so that he died in Thebez? Why did you get so close to the wall?' If he asks you this, then say to him, 'Also, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead.' " 22The messenger set out, and when he arrived he told David everything Joab had sent him to say. 23The messenger said to David, "The men overpowered us and came out against us in the open, but we drove them back to the entrance to the city gate. 24Then the archers shot arrows at your servants from the wall, and some of the king's men died. Moreover, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead." 25David told the messenger, "Say this to Joab: 'Don't let this upset you; the sword devours one as well as another. Press the attack against the city and destroy it.' Say this to encourage Joab." 26When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. 27After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the LORD. 2 Samuel 11:1-27
Questions To Ponder:
If you could have given David any advice, what would your counsel be?
In your opinion, why didn’t God intervene during any of these tragic events? What does that tell you about God’s character and man’s free will?
2. The Aftermath Of David’s Sin: The Way A Friendship Can Be Restored
1) David Was Empathetic with the person mentioned in Nathan’s story (2 Sam. 12:1-6)
2) David Was Exposed for what he did (2 Sam. 12:7-9)
3) David Was Judged for what he did (2 Sam. 12:10-12)
4) David Was Sorry for what he did (2 Sam. 12:13-25; Ps. 51)
12:1The LORD sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, "There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. 4"Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him." 5David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, "As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! 6He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity." 7Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 9Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.' 11"This is what the LORD says: 'Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. 12You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.' " 13Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD."Nathan replied, "The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt, the son born to you will die." 15After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground. 17The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them. 18On the seventh day the child died. David's servants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, "While the child was still living, we spoke to David but he would not listen to us. How can we tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate." 19David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked."Yes," they replied, "he is dead." 20Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate. 21His servants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!" 22He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.' 23But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me." 24Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and lay with her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The LORD loved him; 25and because the LORD loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah. 2 Samuel 12:1-25
51:1 For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. 5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. 6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. 7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. 9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you. 14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. 15 O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. 16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. 18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper; build up the walls of Jerusalem. 19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings to delight you; then bulls will be offered on your altar. Psalm 51:1-19
Questions To Ponder:
Why did David have such compassion for the person in the story who owned the stolen lamb?
What can you learn about taking responsibility for your actions from David’s response to Nathan?
B. The Qualities That Made This Friendship Special:
1. There was a relationship that was established from David’s youth as a shepherd boy.
He chose David his servant and took him from the sheep pens; Psalm 78:70
2. There was the calling to be the king of God’s people.
In the past, even while Saul was king, you were the one who led Israel on their military campaigns. And the LORD your God said to you, 'You will shepherd my people Israel, and you will become their ruler.' " 1 Chron. 11:2
3. There was the testimony of the New Testament Scriptures that spoke of David’s special relationship with God:
22After removing Saul, he made David their king. He testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.' 23"From this man's descendants God has brought to Israel the Savior Jesus, as he promised. Acts 13:22-23
"For when David had served God's purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his fathers and his body decayed. Acts 13:36
Questions To Ponder:
As you think about David’s life, what hope does it give you about being useful to God when you make a mistake of judgment?
What qualities were in David’s life that made him a “man after God’s own heart?”
C. The Unique Challenges This Friendship Faced:
1. As one of God’s choice leaders, David willfully sinned, breaking fellowship with God and incurring God’s judgment upon him.
2. David’s sin went from bad (adultery with Bathsheba) to worse (murder of Uriah & the death of his new born son).
3. Would David have the passion to make things right with God again?
D. The Practical Lessons From This Friendship That I Can Apply To My Life:
1. David Remained in Jerusalem when kings go off to war: (2 Sam. 11:1) I need to make sure that I do not find myself in the wrong place at the wrong time.
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Cor. 10:13
2. David Saw a woman bathing (2 Sam. 11:2): I need to guard my eyes when temptation comes my way.
He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe. Proverbs 28:26
3. David Sent someone to find out about her (2 Sam. 11:3): I need to deny my curiosity and keep my mind focused upon whatever is right.
Avoid every kind of evil. 1 Thes. 5:22
4. David Knew Bathsheba was a married woman (2 Sam. 11:3):
I need to keep my heart from rationalizing a sin.
7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:7-8
5. David Sinned when he slept with her (2 Sam. 11:4): I need to never become so callus in my heart that I allow myself to enjoy the rotten fruit of sin.
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 1 Cor. 6:9
6. David Deceived her husband, Uriah (2 Sam. 11:6-14): I need to walk in the truth, to live in the light.
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7
7. David Murdered Uriah (2 Sam. 11:15-17): I need to stay far away from plots that destroy the lives of others.
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. Matthew 15:19
8. David Married Uriah’s widow, Bathsheba (2 Sam. 11:27): I need to never accept the reward for my sin.
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Proverbs 28:13
And when I do sin and harm my friendship with God, I need to learn from David’s experience:
9. David Was Empathetic with the person mentioned in Nathan’s story (2 Sam. 12:1-6): I need to be empathetic with anyone who has been hurt.
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 1 Peter 3:8
10. David Was Exposed for what he did (2 Sam. 12:7-9): I need to open my life to the Lord’s righteous light.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24
11. David Was Judged for what he did (2 Sam. 12:10-12): I need to accept the Lord’s discipline for my actions.
because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:12
12. David Was Sorry for what he did (2 Sam. 12:13-25; Ps. 51):
I need to be truly sorry, to repent when I have sinned against God.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
E. An Exercise In Friendship:
One of the greatest gifts you can give any friendship is to be able to say “I’m sorry” when you offend. Is there anyone in your circle of friends who need to hear those words from you today?
F. Final Questions To Ponder:
Am I keeping short accounts with God?
Am I guarding my heart in order to protect my friendship with God?
G. CONCLUSION
David was one of the greatest characters in the Bible. And even as great as he was, he still was willing to throw away his friendship with God for a fleeting moment of sensual pleasure. It’s a lesson to every believer: there is nothing worth experiencing if it means harming my friendship with God.
Respond and Reflect: Worship / Season of Prayer
INSTANT IMPACT THOUGHTS FOR YOUR JOURNAL
From this session, the truth that impacted me the most was…
Growing A Little Bit Deeper…
What three things can I do in order to better protect my testimony?
When I feel like I am about to give in to sexual temptation, who can I call upon for protection?
Is there any brokenness in any of your relationships that need to be restored?
The Disciple’s Prayer (Write your own)
Denny Bates & Something New Christian Publishers © 2010 All rights reserved.
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