The Characteristics of a Serial Spiritual Abuser
In this important and timely letter to the churches of Galatia (Galatians 1:2), Paul addresses a topic that has relevance to any believer who has been spiritually abused or has been the abuser. Current Newspaper headlines scream of stories of child abuse, most recently with the Penn State tragedy. If the reported charges prove to be true, the moral failure of one man was covered up by the moral failures of others who sought to protect the “program” and its leaders more than protect the rights of innocent lives (the abused children). What if just one leader had stood up and brought a penetrating light to the offense? What if one leader, who had the power to intervene and protect the lives of those who would be abused in the future, had said ENOUGH! NO MORE!? “What if” is the haunting reminder to every leader that his or her position of leadership is a stewardship given by God and with it comes a great and humbling responsibility. If we leaders get it right, lives are blessed. If we get it wrong and look out for our own selfish interests, people’s lives are greatly harmed.
Before we point our righteous finger at the world and its kind, we must come to grips that this kind of tragedy can also happen in one of the most intimate, most vulnerable of settings: the local church. Though it might not be called “child abuse” (child abuse has taken place far too many times in the church and has become a stain of shame and utter disgust), there is an abuse of God’s children that I am calling “serial spiritual abuse” that also inflicts great damage upon God’s kids. What kind of harm can a serial spiritual abuser do? They can put people under spiritual bondage, quenching their joy, robbing them of their freedom in Christ. What do serial spiritual abusers look like? More often than not, these serial abusers are not outsiders. Sometimes, they are close at hand, able to inflict the greatest amount of damage. Why are serial spiritual abusers so intimidating and seek to strike fear into those who would dare oppose them? If we are afraid of retaliation, perhaps, we allow our fear of man overrule our fear of God. If this is true, then we have compounded the problem by allowing idolatry to enter in. What can we do about it? I believe we can look to God’s Word in Galatians 5:16-26 (NASB95) and at least become aware of the characteristics of one who is a serial spiritual abuser.
1. A serial spiritual abuser will carry out the desire of the flesh
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.
2. A serial spiritual abuser will do whatever they please
17 For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.
3. A serial spiritual abuser rejects grace, is not led by the Spirit, and lives under the law of performance and the stage of pride and driven ego
18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law.
4. A serial spiritual abuser is marked by the deeds of the flesh or acts of the sinful nature
19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,
20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions,
21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
5. A serial spiritual abuser is marked by hate, not love
6. A serial spiritual abuser is bitter and miserable and seeks to make others feel the same
7. A serial spiritual abuser has no peace and robs others of theirs
8. A serial spiritual abuser has no patience with God, others, or with themselves.
9. A serial spiritual abuser is mean, not kind
10. A serial spiritual abuser is bad, not good
11. A serial spiritual abuser is faithless, not faithful
12. A serial spiritual abuser is harsh, not gentle
13. A serial spiritual abuser lacks any self-control
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
14. A serial spiritual abuser refuses to crucify his/her flesh with its passions and desires
24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
15. A serial spiritual abuser does not live or walk by the Spirit
25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
16. A serial spiritual abuser is boastful, challenges others, is envious of others
26 Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another.
History is littered with failed leadership that has hurt others with devastating results. May the history that is written about us be a record of eradicating this spiritual sickness called serial spiritual abuse. May it be said of us that we said, ENOUGH! NO MORE! The wounded innocent ones are waiting for us. May they wait no longer.
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ – Galatians 6:2
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith – Galatians 6:9-10
Learning to lead,
Denny
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